I’ve had this blog for two years.
It’s interesting to think about, especially if you consider how many followers I don’t have. But the thing is, I never particularly cared. I don’t even want to look at my stats, and that’s the first thing you see when you log on to WordPress.
This blog has always been selfish. It’s for me. It’s up to you to find out if you like what you read so much that you stay – it’s appreciated if you do. But lately, people have been finding out about what this site is and I always die a little inside. Believe it or not, when I say selfish, I mean selfish. I mean that I write for me and everything contains my heart and soul and whatnot. I’ve had a poem up recently, begging people to interpret me selfishly – do what I do. Thinking of people actually viewing my site makes me so vulnerable.
Especially when said people realize I’ve written about them. Ha. (Seriously. That happened.)
So, I don’t know if it’s just a handful of followers I’m talking to here, but I think it’s time for some control on my content. Just so that I can stop freaking out whenever people in real life ask me about my site. It’s the Internet; of course I need to be more careful.
And for this site to actually start having some sort of brand and organization. I don’t know what this is supposed to be, really.
I guess that’s what happens when you start blogging when you’re fifteen.
So, let’s start with introductions:
Hi, I’m Jewel. I recently turned seventeen, and I’m an incoming high school junior at iACADEMY, a school of business and design in Makati, Philippines. I started this site as MOSAIC and it later underwent a lot of name changes only because I wanted it to pop up instantly when you search my name. That being said, Eccenbelle is unique, and mine and and only mine, and I don’t know how to pronounce it properly either. The root word is eccentricity, if that’s any help.
This started as a site where I could go to to write. As time passed, it started to include my art, photography, travel, opinions, and books. There’s still a lot I want to include. This site has long passed being just a writing blog.
This site is me.
When I decided I want to start over – but not necessarily delete all of my content, because come on, I’ve had improvement – I asked myself, what do you want your site to be for the people who follow it?
I want it to be a sanctuary. A creative space. Somewhere you could go to for inspiration, or to lose track of time for a few moments. A place that makes you think.
That’s not much of a brand, is it? But I’m no longer writing just for me. I think I’m done – I’ve poured a lot of myself to this site, really, just browse the archives. You can see break-ups and insecurities and failures and my stint in Christianity; my various beliefs that don’t make much sense to anyone but me.
I want to reach out to people, even if it’s just through their computer screens. I’m not going to be completely distant; I still need to write what I know. But I want to keep in mind my readers more than myself.
Hi, I’m Jewel.
We’re starting over. I’d like to welcome you home.
Ask me questions or please tell me what you’d like to see more of in the comments! (Or if you feel like being anonymous, I have an ask.FM.)